When I was in my teens I started questioning my sexuality, which led me to the conclusion that I was as gay as Ellen DeGeneres. It took me a while but in the end I was sure, and relieved. Relieved, that is, until I realized that I was going to have to come out to everyone eventually. I had always imagined a movie-type situation in which I’d stand up in front of all the people I knew -magically reunited all together at some sort of event that would require the presence of everyone…- and say ‘I’m gay’, and that would have been the end of it. Of course it didn’t take me long to see that that’s never the case and that you have to come out so many times that you start losing count after a while. At first this thought worried me a little, until I started feeling comfortable enough in my skin to actually enjoy this moments. No, I’m not going to make a long sappy speech about how good it is to be out and not having to hide and bla bla bla. Of course that’s all true, but what I’m referring to is the hilarious responses you might get -especially if up to that moment people were completely oblivious to the fact that you were gay-.
So I’ve decided to share with you the top five coming out reactions I’ve had over the years. Some are funny, some are just plain weird…!
5. I’d guessed it from your Facebook picture
This occurred last summer when I went to New York on holiday. I was staying with a friend of a friend of a friend, so we had never met before. The first night I was there he took me around the city a little bit, and then out to dinner. We were making conversation to get to know each other a little bit and then, all of a sudden, he got all weird and intense and started mumbling things like ‘Can I ask you a question…?’, ‘I mean…it’s personal so you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to…’. Of course I knew where it was headed but I might have a sadistic side, since I just stared at him blankly waiting for the question, pretending I had no idea what he was talking about. After a while he succeeded and asked me what my sexual orientation was. When I replied that I was gay he said ‘Yeah, I thought so. I could tell from your Facebook profile picture’.
Apparently I have a gay smile or something, who knew?!
4. No! I wanted you to date my best friend!
This happened back when almost nobody knew I was gay. When I came out to this friend of mine all he could say was that he was hoping to set me up with a friend of his…I guess he would have been in for a little surprise.
3. Maybe you’re bi!
This was probably the weirdest one ever, mainly because the response was immediate and had little to do with what I had just said. It was like a reflex :
‘Maybe you’re bi!’
It was like he was offering me a way out or something, which now I find hilarious but when it happened years ago it offended me a little bit. People are just odd sometimes!
2. What did your mum say?
These were the first words my dad said to me when I came out to him. I was really confused at first, because I wasn’t there to discuss what my mum had said but what he was saying, but I guess he just didn’t know how to react and so he tried to dodge the bullet. Still, whenever I think about it I can’t help but laughing at his awkwardness.
1. It’s because of me, isn’t it?
Usually when you come out you do it on your own, without “stealing the thunder” from someone else. Well, my first coming out didn’t go exactly like that.
SnobbishBlond and I were 16 and she had just told me she might be bi, so I jumped to the occasion and told her that so was I (yes I know, I was in denial…). She was confused and thought that it had been her influence or something. I realize now that I might have chosen a better time so that it wouldn’t have looked so much like I was just imitating her, but what you’re gonna do, you don’t usually plan these things.
Sometimes she still says that she has “turned me gay” because she’s too sexy. I always deny it, but you never know…
Has anyone had or heard of any WTF coming out moments? I’d love to hear about it in the comments!