The most common statement that people -both gay and straight- make about bisexuals is ‘bisexuals are lucky’. It is in fact common belief that bisexuals have a huge variety of potential conquers to choose from. People usually think that being bisexual means having more chances to have sex -and maybe that’s true-, but what they don’t think about is that usually “having sex” is not the number one priority. Even though it can be amazing, it’s not always enough.
The truth is that there are many commonplaces about bisexuality and most of them are hilarious. Let’s see if we can debunk some together:
1. Bisexuals have a wider range of ‘preys’ to choose from
Now, let’s say that that’s in fact true, we still have to consider that bisexuals, like everyone else, have a specific taste and don’t just sleep with everybody because they are bisexual. There are always exceptions to that rule, of course.
2. Gay people think that bisexuals aren’t “gay enough”
Straight people think that bisexuals aren’t “straight enough”
Even though being bisexual is a sexual orientation, people tend to forget it. It’s commonplace to think that bisexuals are “confused” and that, sooner or later, they’ll pick a side and stick to it. Usually bisexuality is defined by others as a “phase” that will eventually wear off and lead to a definitive choice so that the people around you will finally know what box to put you into. As if your sexuality were their business. If they could, they’d shove a Sorting Hat on you head, having it make a decision for you.
3. In order to be a real bisexual, you need to like men and women equally
This is clearly a matter of percentage. Basically, if you want to call yourself bisexual you have to like men at 50% and women at 50%. First of all, I don’t know how many bisexuals have been carefully categorizing every person they’ve been with, maybe even writing them down in a register that lists their height, their shoe size, the color of their eyes and the color of their hair, with a specific reference to their bra size or the size of their penis.
Second of all, I am perplexed by the fact that, according to this theory, if I were to like men a little more than I like women, that would make me straight.
I’m sorry, but if my diet were made up by 60% vegetables, would that make me a vegetarian? What if my favorite food was blue steak?…mhm…
4. Bisexuals are just half-closeted gays
I have to admit this statement is partially true. When someone starts realizing they might be gay, they don’t just wake up one morning, yawn, have breakfast and while brushing their teeth understand, suddenly, that they are gay. It’s a slow process, during which, little by little, you realize whether you belong more to a side or the other. Sometimes being bisexual is used as a “justification” to yourself (something like: ok, I do like boobs but that doesn’t mean that I won’t be able to get married in a church some day, have a thousand babies and a man who can change the bulbs around the house and nail pictures to the walls). At some point down that road, gay people come to the conclusion that they distinctly prefer a side to the other, while bisexuals are left swimming in the middle.
There are, however, some gays who keep calling themselves bisexuals even after realizing that they’re not (for many different reasons, the most common one of which, is that it is way easier to say that you’re half-straight instead of full on gay). This doesn’t mean that all bisexuals are gay though.
5. Bisexuals are actually straight, they only say it because it’s fashionable
This one is my favorite. There are some people who think that being bisexual is fashionable, like it’s fashionable to wear low cut jeans or yellow nail polish. Basically, a straight person can open their closet and say ‘Let’s see, what am I going to wear today? The blond chick with braids or the Argentinian guy with the perfect abs?’. To those who didn’t grasp the metaphor, this is not how it works.
I still trust human intelligence enough to believe that, if someone decides to have an homosexual experience, they do it because they are at least remotely interested in people of the same sex. Otherwise they are just stupid.
6. Bisexuality doesn’t exist. You are either gay or straight
I hope that what I’ve said up to now is enough to debunk this myth too. If it isn’t, try reading my post again.
There are other billions commonplaces that I could name, but I think I’ve given you a general idea of what I think.
And, in case you were wondering, yes, I am bisexual.