No penis no party


I was going to write a different article this week, but then SB and I went out to explore the gay scene in Paris and our worlds kind of collapsed. I was really looking forward to it because I’ve always figured: big city, big scene, right? Wrong!

To be honest there were some acceptable clubs in the Marais (the Parisian gayborhood) . To be honest I don’t really know if they were acceptable or not because, apparently, being a lesbian is not enough to get into a gay bar. The rule seems to be no penis no party (unless you’re the straight drunk girlfriend, which gives you a free pass).

I guess that’s how it works in many big cities, where the LGBT community is big enough to afford to have separate bars and clubs (I really don’t see the point of that, but we’ll get to that later). Which brings me to my next point: where are all the lesbians? It’s not the first time that I realize that there are no gay women around. Are there some secret parties they go to, to which my invitation has been lost by the mailman?

Seriously, even in London, one of the gayest cities in the world, at the G.A.Y., one of the gayest clubs in the city, there were only a bunch of lesbians. I know, I know, there are some all-women clubs and parties there, too, but what if I also enjoy the company of gay men? Why should I have to choose between men and women? My being gay doesn’t make me hate men, and it most certainly doesn’t make me want to be away from them in social situations.

One thing that I have to say in favor of the G.A.Y. is that they did let us in no problem, and we had an awesome night out. I can’t say the same about French clubs. When we got to the Marais we were both really surprised in noticing that we were the only two women in miles (ok, I might be exaggerating a bit, but you get the picture). Right away we saw what must have been the coolest place there, because there was a massive queue outside: the Cox (yep, that’s actually a name). As you probably have guessed from the name of the club, women aren’t welcome there. We figured, well, that’s the all guys club here, we’ll just find a mixed one.

The only problem was, whenever we approached a club in order to get in, the guy at the door would look at us as if we were crazy (one of them actually said: “how can I help you?” as though we couldn’t possibly want to get into the club, we must have been looking for information or something) and they would tell us that they won’t let women in. As I said before this wasn’t true, because there were some straight women here and there, and when I tried to point that out to one of the bouncers (I actually pointed them out) he kept denying that there were any girls there. I mean dude, seriously?!

I’m not here to single out any clubs…hold on, yes I am. The Spyce and the Raidd where particularly shitty to us. There, I’ve said it, now I feel better. Well, actually I don’t because my fun night out has been ruined by some bigoted people who have decided that the entire community can’t have fun together anymore. I feel like I’m looking at a couple after a pretty nasty divorce, where everything has been divided, everyone has to pick sided and if you even think about crossing over into the enemy lines you’re marked as a traitor.

I guess many people won’t agree with me or there wouldn’t be any separate clubs in the world, but I just don’t get where the community is. SB told me the other night how she thought that everyone is so hypocritical, saying that we are all a big family when the reality is completely different. It makes me sad in a way, because I don’t feel that we are so different after all.

You know what though? I could maybe get over this whole ‘separate clubs’ thing and move on if there were any lesbian clubs available, but I guess it’s not that lucrative, because they don’t freaking exist. Why do I have to go to a straight club and get dry-humped by horny college dudes who don’t understand that if I’m dancing with a girl I’m not doing it to get their attention? Don’t get me wrong, I’d be fine with straight clubs if this wasn’t true, but it systematically happens, and I’m just so over that.

Ultimately, all I want is a safe and fun place to enjoy my night out, is that too much to ask?


2 thoughts on “No penis no party

  1. B. says:

    I also don’t understand why there are no mixed bars, this means that you can’t party together, it sucks! There are quite some lesbian bars, like le troisième lieu or le 3w kafé. Did you go to any lesbian bars?


    • LuckyBastard says:

      I know, I just don’t get it! We didn’t go to a lesbian bar ’cause that night we were just too depressed to keep looking to be honest!
      I read about one, it’s called Unity Bar, but I don’t know if it’s any good…we’ll definitely check out the other two though, thanks for the tips!


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