Is pre-relationship sex good?


I don’t know whether this is a question that I’ve asked myself because I love speculating upon meaningless matters and I’m a little paranoid, or if it is a doubt that also troubles other people, but, since I had nothing better to talk about this week I’ve decided to pull out of the hat my favorite topic, and improvise a post about it.

When I talk about my “favorite topic” I mean sex (yey!). I’d have many things to say about sex but, to be honest, I don’t know how many of these could actually interest you, so I’ve picked one that I hope will. Today I’m going to talk about pre-relationship sex.

In the old days having sex only after getting married was considered normal. The reason behind this wasn’t merely moral, dictated by the church but -as most clerical impositions of the past- it had its logic and, in this particular case, the main reason was not to give birth to children outside the bonds of marriage, because they wouldn’t have been recognized.

Nowadays this rule has become unpopular and I can safely state that finding a person who has decided to wait until marriage before having sex is harder than finding a person who has never heard a Madonna song –hermits have always existed, though…-. Anyhow, it’s general knowledge that young people –or at least the majority of them- are unable to hold on to their panties for long. And how could they? We are constantly bombarded by ads, films, books and TV shows that talk of nothing else but sex. Let’s face it, even the most resolute and determined virgin would eventually give in to Jensen Ackles’ sculpted body. We are practically condemned to pre-marital sex. But what about pre-relationship sex?

There are still people who wait for the “right person” and I have to admit that, following my personal experience, I have known many who have succeeded in holding on to their precious treasure until the right person came along –mostly because, generally, the one turned out not to be the one after all.

There is also that tiny percentage  that –lucky them- has had sex for the first time with the right person and they turned out to be the actual right person, the one to marry, have many children and eat pudding with in front of the stove when you’re old. Sex with that person is probably mind-blowing –how could it not be? It is the love of their life we’re talking about!-but…how can they know for sure? Are we sure that, once they get to their fifties, right in the middle of their mid-life crisis, when the passion has pretty much faded away, they won’t start looking around and ask themselves: what if there were something different? Not necessarily better, just different.

Once you get to that point, there is no going back. They might suggest to their partner to have a threesome or to sign up for a swingers club, but there is no way of knowing how the other one will react. Either that or they could cheat and get rid of temptation, just to find out that they hadn’t really been missing out on something major or that, on the contrary, they had given up a huge deal. They might lastly decide to keep their doubts to themselves and get over it or to keep them and let them bite into them for the rest of their lives.

Given my reasoning the logical conclusion would be that, at the end of the day, the safest choice is to experiment. Long live pre-relationship sex! Let’s have fun while we are young, before ending up into a dead-end monogamous relationship.

I’m not so sure I believe that, though. A part of me still believes that waiting and giving yourself to the right person is better, even knowing that someday that curiosity will inevitably come up. But I’m telling myself that, if that really is the right person, that curiosity won’t be so important after all.


2 thoughts on “Is pre-relationship sex good?

  1. beijas says:

    My guess is that pre-relationship sex (or sans relationship altogether!) has been around for ages…just not discussed in public forums. I agree–experiment…and safely!


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