Gender Confusion

What’s this? A new post on Through the Vanishing Cabinet? Weren’t they gone forever?

I guess we weren’t done, after all. Humor me and act as if we had never left, like good friends that meet up after years of being apart and still feel like they’ve always been together. Or not. Just know that we are in fact, back, and we’re planning to stick around for a very long time.


Something that keeps surprising me is how oblivious people are. I mean, I’m not pretending to be this super intelligent being that knows and understands all, it’s just that I feel like people just don’t pay attention.

As a gay person, -especially a gay woman- I’ve gotten quite used to the fact that sometimes people get confused and mistake me for a guy. Now, I don’t find anything wrong with being a really masculine woman, but the point is, I’m really not. Sure, I do have short hair and my look is, let’s say, androgynous, or somewhere in that area, but if you actually look at me it’s absolutely obvious that I am a woman. Not only because I wear make up, but also because my facial features are pretty feminine.

So you can imagine my annoyance when people call me ‘sir’ or anything like that. First of all because I’m not a guy, but most of all because I realize how little attention people pay to me. It’s true, I do get my revenge by correcting them, because they always are a million times more embarrassed than I’ll ever be, and that is simply hilarious, but still.

Also, this gets me thinking. It’s 2015 and women have been wearing pants for ages, men have had their hair long for decades and people still get confused if someone doesn’t fit into their standards of what a ‘real man’ or a ‘real woman’ should look like. I’m not one of those crazy feminists who say that women shouldn’t shave – quite the opposite actually-, but I think it’s absurd that whenever you’re not stereotypically recognizable as your own gender and you can’t be put into a box, people don’t know what to make of you. I don’t see why we have to be confined into these preconceived ideas of what we should do, like and wear.

I guess that this issue has been explored in the queer community, where people are usually more comfortable with the idea of taking both from their masculine and feminine side to build up their own style and personality. I just wish that the rest of the world would catch up already, and stop thinking that we need to respond to simplified criteria.

The fact that I’ve been mistaken for a man more times than I can remember, tells me that people sometimes don’t even realize that we’re not all the same. Although their puzzlement frustrates and sometimes angers me, I believe that I shouldn’t change the way I look in order to make them feel more comfortable, but that I should be patient and wait for the day when we’ll all be able to mix and match our gender identities without getting any reaction whatsoever.


Any thoughts?

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