Dating is fun, right? Wrong.
While it may be fun to actually go on dates – though not everyone agrees with me on that – the process of asking a girl out might be frustrating at best at terrifying at worst. So how do we do it? How do we overcome the fear of rejection?
The answer is pretty easy, actually. You just do it. And of course, it’s easier said than done. I hear that but the point is, the only way to get over our fears is facing them and in the dating world that rule still stands.
The first thing that you have to remember is that confidence is key. I’m not saying that you have to act smug or pretend like you’re better than everyone else, I only mean that acting like you’ve already got the date before asking for it is going to improve your chances. You’re paralyzed with fear and second-guessing yourself on the inside? Just fake it and act like you’re cool on the outside, you’ll be surprised to see how well that works and, after a while, you won’t even be faking it anymore.
On a more practical note, you may be wondering how to actually ask a girl out. That clearly depends on the context but if you’re in a club or bar kind of situation all you need to do is go over to her, introduce yourself, and offer her a drink. You’re afraid she’s going to say no? Just think about it. Would you turn down someone who wants to buy you a drink? At the very least she’ll say yes to get a free cocktail, that way you’ll get the chance to strike up a conversation.
If you find yourself in a more “neutral” setting, like a café, the library, or the gym, you may want to start a conversation about a common interest (use your deduction skills here: if you see her reading a specific book look it up, etc.). Once again, no one is going to turn down a kind stranger who wants to talk to them.
Once you’re talking to her try to be nice – without overdoing it, nobody likes a needy girl…! – and maybe compliment her on something. If things are going smoothly and she’s not desperately looking for the nearest emergency exit or constantly looking at her phone, this is the moment to make your move.
What to do next depends on various factors, mainly due to the setting. If you’re at a place where people are clearly looking to date or hook up you can just be forward and ask her out on a date.
On the other hand, if you’re in a place where you might have run into a very gay-looking straight lady, you may wanna try out the more subtle approach.
Figure out an excuse to get her number (for example, you really want to recommend a bar/movie/band/whatever but you just can’t remember the name of it) so that you can get in touch with her later. If she’s interested she’ll react accordingly once you’ve texted her.
If your gaydar sucks and you still don’t understand if she’s into you or not, I can’t help you. Just kidding, of course I can, but that’s a whole other deal and a whole other article.