Lesbians, marriage and baby-fever

What’s wrong with lesbians, nowadays? Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for getting married, buying a house in the suburbs and adopting a thousand Chinese babies – fine, maybe not a thousand, but you know what I mean-.

What I just can’t wrap my head around though, is all these lesbians who move in after five dates, get a dog after seven, and decide to get married after ten. Don’t try to tell me it’s just a stereotype, or that it happens but it’s rare, or some other bullshit. Don’t try to tell me that when it’s right you just know it and time isn’t going to change that, either. Because it does. You can’t honestly tell me that you actually know a girl a month into dating her, even if you’ve spent every waking moment together.

First of all, during the ‘honeymoon phase’ everyone tends to hold back those sides of their personality that they know aren’t all that pleasing. We’ve all done that, it doesn’t even have to be deliberate, it’s just what happens when you want someone to like you.

Second of all, after so little time spent together you don’t really get the chance to interact in situations that may be stressful or difficult, that bring out the worst of you or your partner.

I believe in soul mates, I truly do. What I don’t believe in, is love at first sight, or being able to identify that person who is just perfect for you after a couple of hours.

This is usually the point in the conversation where people bring out some circumstantial evidence of someone they know, who married their partner after six months and lived happily ever after. Look, I’m not saying it never happens, all I’m saying that if it does, you got lucky. That’s what I just don’t get: what’s the rush? If you feel like you’re getting old, and you want to have kids right away before you won’t be able to anymore, and you’re just tired of waiting, well, that I might understand (although I still find it slightly irresponsible). If, on the other hand, you’re in your twenties or thirties, why can’t you take your time and get to know the person and actually build a relationship before putting a ring on it? It’s not like you can’t live together if you’re not married or anything, so I really don’t see what the problem is.

All I’m saying is that I feel like people are just impatient and rush into things they may not be able to handle just yet, only because they’re afraid of being alone.

Call me old school, but I still have an idea of marriage in which you actually plan on staying together forever. Sure, things do get out of hand sometimes, and divorce may be your only option, but I refuse to believe that these people who get married after five minutes would be as eager to do it as they are now if divorce didn’t exist. At the end of the day we are all in control of our own lives and we should all be free to do whatever we like, I just think that there would be less broken hearts around if people thought things through before getting into something so big without thinking about it twice.

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