Awkward gayness

We live in a straight world. I’m not complaining, it’s just a fact. Living in a straight world means that people tend to assume that you are straight even when you look pretty gay, and obviously that results in coming out again and again.

What got me thinking is the fact that the only reason I feel uncomfortable in these situations is that I know that I might make someone else uncomfortable. I’m totally at ease with my sexuality and I don’t feel weird at all thinking about it or talking to SB about it or even writing about it right here, because I know no one is going to have any reaction whatsoever, good or bad.

On the other hand, while the majority of straight people are supportive, they often act awkward around our sexuality. Take my mom, for example. When I came out to her she was totally supportive – although, you guessed it, a little awkward –  but then we just never talked about it again for a very long time. A couple of months after our conversation she wanted to ask me if she could tell my grampa that I was lesbian, so she started making this very long speech about “the thing about myself that I told her about, the personal thing” and it took me a while to understand what the heck she was talking about (and I pretended not to get it for a little longer and let her rumble on, because I’m evil like that).

The point is, my own mother doesn’t even use the word gay if she doesn’t have to, so it’s no surprise that most straight people act the same way. I know we should just learn to ignore them, but who am I to preach when I consciously tone down my gayness more times than not? It’s just that while a straight couple holding hands is just normal, a gay couple doing the exact same thing suddenly is political, for some reason.

How to get rid of the elephant in the room though? The only solution I’ve come up with is ignoring it, hoping it will eventually find its way out.

Any ideas? Am I the only one who feels this unspoken awkwardness?

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4 thoughts on “Awkward gayness

  1. writerspilecki says:

    They are both forms of self-defense, I think, although yours is more literal. I just came out as bi to a friend of 21 years and she just kept talking–She so did not even blink that it took me a second to realize that she had in fact heard me and was completely fine with it. So sometimes people will surprise you.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Kissing Fish says:

    It’s still awkward with my family even though I’ve been out for some time now. I’d been married twice to men before and they assumed that I “became” a lesbian because of bad men. Nope, I’m a lesbian because I always was one but at 38 I decided to be brave enough to embrace it instead of denying it and hurting more people trying to live straight. I’m due time it won’t be so awkward and will just be normal…at least I hope so lol.

    Liked by 1 person

    • LuckyBastard says:

      Yeah I’m sure things will “normalize” in the long run. If you were brave enough to come out after two straight marriages you’ll definitely be brave enough to fight the stereotypes and love truthfully. Best of luck!

      Liked by 1 person

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