Last week something really weird happened. I went to see an ob-gyn for the first time…too much information? Sorry, this is going to be that kind of story, so if it makes you uncomfortable, here’s your cue.
I know I’m too old for my first time at the gyno but I’ve always put it off since I have never needed any contraceptives (quoting Liz Feldman: “My aversion to penis is 100% effective”).
Anyway, before going in I had to fill out a form where among other things I was supposed to say if I was a virgin or not. I obviously wrote in that I wasn’t without even thinking about it and it wasn’t until later, when I was talking to the doctor I even realized that for what it concerned her, I was.
It’s something I’ve thought about a lot during the years: what does exactly count as sex? If we’re talking about a straight couple that’s pretty straight (no pun intended) forward: intercourse equals sex. I’m guessing gay guys would also have the same line of reasoning, although I might be wrong, but what about lesbians? I mean, when I had sex for the first time I knew that was it, it’s not like I wasn’t sure or I was wondering “So did this count? Am I still a virgin or not?”.
The best definition I’ve come up with so far is: “sex is something that two (or more) people do to each other in order to get an orgasm”, but even in this case I realize it’s inaccurate because there are too many exceptions to the rule.
I believe many people would just say that I’m a virgin and call it a day and although that may make sense from a physical perspective, it completely fails to cover the fact that I do in fact have a sex life.
Clearly my vagina doesn’t care if I consider myself a virgin or not, and I honestly don’t think anyone but me cares either, but this makes me realize how relative everything is, and even something as black and white as virginity can be seen from more than one point of view.
I would love to get some feedback and see what you guys think about it. What is sex? Are gold star lesbians virgins or not?