I’ve been asked many times why I write about gay guys while I’m a bisexual woman in a relationship with another woman.
My preference about writing about guys seems weird both to guys and girls and, honestly, I found very difficult to understand why until I tried to get exactly what I like about gay male couples and why I like them more then straight or lesbian ones.
I tried to remember when I switched my writing from straight to gay and it was like twelve years ago, when I casually read a story about Rai and Kei from BayBlade (an anime that I loved at the time!) thinking it was a straight story and founding out too late that it wasn’t. At the beginning I was super shocked but then something just clicked inside me and I just wanted to read more.
What I have to say, is that I’ve liked close-very-close-maybe-too-close friendships since always: the Fox and the Hound, Chip and Dale (they are cousins but whatever), Ron and Harry, but before that fanfiction I’d never thought of them as “couples”.
Anyway, becoming friends with the girls from the slash BayBlade fandom encouraged me to try writing some fanfiction of my own and I had quite a big success for a porn writer that had never had sex.
Then, I discovered Harry and Draco and boom my life had changed forever in so many aspects.
It’s very difficult to explain, mainly because I don’t completely understand it either, but maybe because I’d always loved the Harry Potter universe or maybe because Draco reminded me so much of what I was, should be, not wanting to become, I just started writing about them and I continued for so many years that in the end they were just mine, my Harry and Draco, so different from Rowling’s characters that it was painful knowing that, in the end, they would never be mine.
But this is out of today’s topic. What matters is that while I was writing about Harry and Draco I also wrote about some other original couples and they were always…gay. I mean, come on: writing about straight couples is boring. And lesbians? I guess I preferred writing about guys because, even if I’d accepted my sexual orientation, I wasn’t ready to be proud of it and expose myself writing about girls. And well: boys are hot too.
Now I’m just a gay guys writer, I guess. I’ve spent almost all my writing life pretending to be a guy, imagining to have a penis and struggling because I shouldn’t like other guys. And honest: I love pretending. I feel that skin so much, and I’m not saying that I feel it more than my own, but quite the same.
I figured that I probably have two souls, and one is a fashion nerdy bi girl in love with another girl and the other is a sassy punk gay guy in love with another guy. This way I can have both.
Ah, these slutty bisexuals…